Black or white. Conservative or liberal. Gay or straight. Masculine or feminine. Carnivore or herbivore. Placing each other into buckets helps us organize the world more quickly and easily. But it belies the nuances that exist in almost every aspect of our being.
Most “black” people are not actually the color black. The same goes for most “white” people. The few extremists at either end of the U.S. political spectrum are caricatures hardly representative of the majority of citizens that identify with one of the two major parties… not to mention those who identify with neither. We all have a combination of masculine and feminine qualities in varying ratios. But acknowledging complexity takes effort, so we simply round to the nearest answer, pretending there are just two options on the scale, when there are an infinite number of points along the way. We live within glossy, oversimplified social constructs.
This is not to mention the impermanence of many qualities. Think about how vastly different a day in your life is now vs. when you were 7 and vs. what it might be at 77. You do, feel, eat, and believe things now that you would not have dreamed of as a child, nor would you dream of later in life.
For this reason, it benefits us to adopt a growth mindset vs. a fixed one. “I’m a strong runner but not a good swimmer”—something I’ve uttered many times—becomes “I’ve put in decades of deliberate practice to become a strong runner but have not done the same with swimming yet.” I may never become a great swimmer but I’m leaving the door open and acknowledging that not being one is a temporary state, not a permanent characteristic.
It’s through open-mindedness and experimentation that we can shift our current identity toward our ideal one. As Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project says, “Challenging yourself to learn something new brings happiness because it allows you to expand your self-definition. You become larger.” With this goal in mind, I will be taking on a new challenge… well, many mini-challenges. For 4-6 weeks intervals, I’ll be trying something new—a diet type, exercise regimen, sleep technique, social behavior, or personal care practice—to inch closer to my ideal approach to living. I’ll be pinpointing my shade of gray along the spectrum in these key aspects of life. I’ll share my plans, concerns, expectations, and results so that you too can choose to take these experiments for a spin too and find your shade of gray.
Mini-challenge Format:
- Ok, but why… (Motivation)
- Uh oh… (Concerns)
- About that… (Caveats)
- I betcha… (Expectations)
- Whoomp, there it is… (Takeaways)
Look out for Experiment #1 in the next two weeks. Hint: it deals with food.
This blog, like each of us, is a work in progress, so I welcome any feedback. Thanks for reading!