Shroomsperiment!

Experiment: Take 3g of psilocybin (magic mushrooms) and see what happens.

Photo by Marco Allegretti

Ok, so why…

• Psychedelics such as psilocybin (aka magic mushrooms) have had a major revival of late. Shrooms seem to be popping up all over popular culture.
  • Michael Pollan’s fantastic book How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence talks about early research into the potential benefits of psychedelics in the 1950s. Pollan reports how moral outrage toward LSD in the 1960s and government prohibition created a long gap in our knowledge about these compounds. Recent interest, political and medical lobbying, and the resulting legalization in certain cities and states have literally brought them back out of the woods.
  • Sam Harris, in his Waking Up app and on his Making Sense podcast, has discussed details around his mushroom trip experiences. He warns that not all trips are good trips, but that there is value in the bad trips too. He cites his trips, both the good ones and the bad ones, as among the most powerful and meaningful experiences in his life. He goes so far as to say he thinks his daughters would miss out if they didn’t get to experience a psychedelic like psilocybin or LSD at some point in their lives.
  • Tim Ferriss, author of the 4-Hour everything [Workweek, Body, Chef], has been a staunch, vocal supporter of research into psychedelics and how they can aid in treating PTSD, anxiety, and depression. Here is a Psychedelics 101 list of resources he’s compiled. In a related post, he shares, “Psychedelics have saved my life several times over, including helping me to heal from childhood abuse.”
• These admirable influencers and many others have written about their mostly positive—and all enlightening—experiences on psychedelics.
• Studies have shown that shrooms (psilocybin) are our friends with benefits, including:
  • Potential use in treating:
    • Depression
    • PTSD
    • Obsessive-compulsive disorder
    • Cluster headaches
    • Cancer-related or other end-of-life psychological distress
    • Eating disorders
  • Potential to help curb addiction to:
    • Nicotine
    • Alcohol
    • Cocaine
    • Opioids
  • Feelings of euphoria
  • Spiritual benefits
    • These can be hard to quantify, but 2/3 of patients in one study considered their trip to be “either the single most meaningful experience of his or her life or among the top five,” ranking it on par with the birth of a child.
• For these reasons, psilocybin had been on the (very) short list of recreational drugs I’d had interest in trying for a while.
  • Add to that a sense of urgency, since we were expecting a baby in early 2022, and I knew this experience would be harder to coordinate after her birth.
  • I checked this experiment off my pre-baby bucket list in the fall of 2021, but I’ve been preoccupied with all things baby for a while, so here we are.
    • Side note: Our daughter Amaya was born in February 2022. She is healthy, sweet, and lots of fun and work. Perhaps being a new parent will be the subject of a future blog post.

Uh oh…

• Bad trips are an absolute possibility. Sam Harris and others have described having trips in which you are stuck in a psychologically painful or disturbing loop.
  • The one comforting note here is that those who have had horrible trips still benefit from these in the long run—maybe due to uncovering a new truth that was hard to swallow—as they still cite these “bad trips” as among the most meaningful moments in their lives.

About that…

• I wasn’t too worried though, because I was better informed than many are when they try mushrooms for the first time. I’d read Michael Pollan’s book mentioned above, listened to several podcasts on the topic, and pored over a bunch of articles and YouTube clips. Here is one clip I would recommend.
• As a result, I knew:
  • If I had the right set and setting, everything would likely be fine.
    • Set refers to your mindset. It’s in your best interest to calm your mind and enter the experience with a positive outlook.
    • Setting refers to your physical setting. Are you in a noisy, crowded, stressful place or ideally a calm, quiet, open, and natural one?
  • Psilocybin mushrooms won’t kill you. On a bad trip, they might make you think they can, but they can’t. This was one of the most reassuring things I’d learned.

I betcha…

• I’mma love it and will feel a deeper connection with nature.
• At the same time, I think I’ll be fine with letting this be a special, big occasion type activity, as opposed to something more regular like a glass of wine with dinner.

Here’s how it went down…

• Everything was planned to allow for a low stress start to our trip. We’d booked an Airbnb nestled in the mountains in NorCal. It would be Will, 3 close friends, and me.
• One friend burned sage in the house beforehand to cleanse the environment.
  • Not a bad idea, I thought, to match the mysticism and sacredness involved with this experience. A mushroom trip is not like a keg stand or bong hit, and it helps to treat it with a little more respect.
  • But also, ICYDK, sage smells fantastic.
• We started by sitting in a circle and each sharing what we hoped and expected to get out of the trip.
• Then, we opened our tin of dark chocolate magic mushroom truffles, broke off the planned amount—3 grams each for our journey, cheers’d each other with our chocolates, and consumed them.
  • Side note: I’ve heard dried psilocybin mushrooms on their own taste bitter and nasty, but these chocolates were heavenly, so I’d highly recommend the chocolate route.

NATURE

• We then went outside and lied under a massive tree during the warm, sunny afternoon, closing our eyes and relaxing for a bit to let the mushrooms do their magic.
• The effects started somewhere between 30 and 60 minutes in for me.
• Andrew, Will, and I walked around the grounds for a bit and I had started to feel a bit of euphoria, heightened senses, and an increased appreciation for the beauty of nature.
  • These would continue to grow over the course of the trip. I would feel more connected to all living things and the presence of some greater good.
• Andrew picked a small fragrant, yellow flower bud and smelled it. He shared it with Will and me, and its scent was far stronger and more interesting to me than I imagine it normally would have been. The scent went from being like listening to FM radio from the next room over to walking among a live string orchestra mid-concert.
• Upon returning to the “mother tree” that we spent some time under, I became mesmerized by the forest I was looking out at. It appeared to be breathing and it was as if I could see the trees and their branches alternatively growing, receding, and then growing again.
  • I found geometric patterns amidst the collection of trees that I doubt I ever would have noticed. Now, they gladly revealed themselves, and things like the veins of leaves became more pronounced.
  • I felt protected by the tree we were under, its branches seeming to hang down over us like an umbrella.
  • The leaved branches appeared to creep down closer to us, as if to shroud us in a loving embrace.

• Everything seemed a little brighter. I had to check a few times to confirm that I indeed had sunglasses and not regular, clear glasses on.
• I felt more aware of insects and was completely ok with them.
  • A bee was crawling on me as I was jotting down some notes, and I recall thinking this is OK. It’s all good, buddy.

TIME & MINDFULNESS

Only that day dawns to which we are awake.

Henry David Thoreau, Walden

• Time seemed to expand as we gave greater attention to the present.
• We experienced an amazing, seemingly endless sunset—and a whole evening of wonder—that, fortunately in this case, felt like it lasted far longer than it did.
  • This is possible when you’re inhabiting the present moment. And psilocybin is a natural medicine that guides you to do this.
  • You escape the treadmill of thoughts and the stream of technological distractions.
  • The experience is an invitation to move from a doing mindset to a being one. It’s less “what am I trying to accomplish?” and more “what is happening now?” “What am I feeling, hearing, and seeing in this moment?”
• In pausing the doing—the ceaseless forward motion of life—you zoom into and appreciate the richness of the present moment and become more alive.
  • When you decide to “go” again, things are different because of the pause you took. You’ll be able to continue with greater perspective on what’s most important in your life.
  • Note: You can create such pauses in your day by focusing on your breath, even if just for a few seconds. I’ve found a physiological sigh to be a great way to reduce anxiety. This is a useful tool for a time-strapped new parent!
• This experience was a powerful reminder that life is simply the sum of many moments.
  • When we’re not fully present for most of these moments, we 1) miss what’s important in our lives and 2) miss opportunities for personal growth and transformation.
  • When you truly focus all of your attention on the moment, you get so much more out of it. If you can carve out a little time for it, meditation is one of the best ways to practice this.
  • In summary, my epiphany…

To live longer in the same amount of time, be present.

GENERAL THOUGHTS

• All the intentions I set before the trip manifested in some form during the trip.
• It came to me that my purpose in life is to make others feel good.
  • I had a strong desire to express gratitude for the people around me, which happened to be mutual.
  • My cousin Jessie and I had a moment of mutual appreciation that we ended up in the same city at this time in our lives. We’d barely gotten to spend any time together as kids, and now we were reveling in the chance to enjoy a close friendship as adults.
  • I spent a lot of time checking in on everyone else, including our dog Zara. (To be sure, we did not and would not give her any mushrooms… although she could probably benefit from them given her general anxiety. 😆)
  • I realized this nurturing side has grown and is continuing to grow, probably as I prepare to be a dad. It comes from my parents, especially my mom.
  • My friends there shared that they appreciated my sense of joy and wonder, more than I realized. This, I mused, comes from my dad.
  • It was a reminder to be loving, compassionate, and forgiving with myself, because I’m probably more critical of myself than others are, and it allows me to bring my best, most secure self to others and for others.
• I wanted to both capture everything happening during this experience and simultaneously just be in it.
• It was easier to “catch and release” potential negative thoughts, nipping them in the bud.
• I contemplated how alcohol and TV are fine to enjoy but should take a backseat to other activities and conversations, because there’s already so much to do and experience—especially to foster greater growth and happiness—without them.
• We all loved coloring in adult coloring books with markers, far more than expected. The pages transformed in cool ways, e.g., dots growing and shrinking and shapes shifting. The transfer of the color from the marker to the paper seemed somewhat magical too.
• I experienced a strong oneness with our dog Zara.
  • I realized I’m almost always moving, either physically or mentally, much like Zara. Others agreed that she and I are connected that way.
• I felt in control during the experience, which was something I’d wondered about prior to it. I probably would have been fine even at a higher dose.
  • There was a lot of laughing and happiness throughout.
• The first day after was a little less fun, being reintroduced to the less savory aspects of the world. Also, things were slightly duller in comparison. It was kind of like returning to the regular grind after an inspirational retreat.
  • But I quickly remembered Sapana’s sage advice to take the experience with me into my daily life.
  • The next few days I was able to recall, inhabit, and appreciate the experience and its teachings.
• Some of us enjoyed dancing to rhythmic music. We felt a little less self-conscious and more able to just let our bodies move in a way that felt good.
• I had brought some family photos, a suggestion I had read about. I was glad I did so. Looking at them and sharing them with my friends allowed me to feel a deep connection and sense of gratitude toward my family members.

OTHERS’ EXPERIENCES

Some highlights from my friends’ trip experiences:

• Andrew demonstrated clairsentience: the ability to perceive emotional or psychic energy that is imperceptible to the five standard senses. The type he experienced deals with feeling sensations through other people’s body. He felt the sensation in his throat of the bubbles from a sparkling drink Sapana was having across the room.
• Sapana experienced this too and said she does so regularly. She experiences the emotions of others around her, tapping in almost like X-Men’s Jean Grey or Eleven from Stranger Things. This can be overwhelming for her since it can be a heavy load to carry.
  • Though we couldn’t really tell during most of the trip, she let us know later that she was having a negative experience for much of it.
  • She was being bombarded with thoughts of death and the feeling that she had a choice of whether to live or to die in that moment. (Again, magic mushrooms can’t kill you, but they can potentially make you think otherwise.)
  • This was likely due in large part to some serious health issues her mother had been facing at the time, which had brought life and death to the forefront of her mind.
  • Also, later in the trip, she was able to pull out of those feelings and talk to us all about it, which I imagine was therapeutic for her.
• Will experienced more intense color visuals and patterns, including feeling like he was inside a lemon at one point and a strawberry at another.
  • He also experienced synesthesia, seeing the music we were hearing as different color patterns.
• It was fun to watch Jessie and Sapana dancing. They had very different styles—Jessie’s bold and staccato, connecting more with the beat, and Sapana’s smooth and flowy, connecting more with the melody. Yet, both fully inhabited the music.

Where I Failed…

• Personally, it was quite a success. I had just one regret:
  • Despite my efforts to check on everyone, I didn’t realize what Sapana was going through at the time. This was at least partly because she didn’t let us know, whether that was to protect us or because she didn’t know how to. Still, I could have helped her more had I known.

Where I Won…

• I took notes during the trip to remember key highlights. This post is the result of those.
• I picked a great natural setting for us.
• Bringing both Zara and the pics of my fam turned out well, helping me to feel closer to them all, especially to my parents.

What Surprised Me…

• The greatest surprise was the distortion of time I described above and the resulting everlasting sunset.
  • Perhaps our dilated pupils also contributed to this, permitting the dwindling light to linger a little longer.

• I didn’t expect to feel as lucid and in control as I did while having such an altered experience.
  • Psilocybin can be quite different from alcohol and weed in this way.

Whoomp, there it is…

• Do I recommend it? Yes, with two tips:
  • Learn more about it to determine if it’s right for you and so that you feel adequately prepared. This helped me greatly.
  • Select a set and setting that are likely to enable you to have a great experience, ideally in or near nature.
• Would I do it again? Absolutely. It’s more meaningful than a glass of wine with dinner and should be treated more as a once-in-a-while type of experience. That said, I’d love to do it again when the time is right.

Thanks for reading! Please leave me a comment with any feedback, what you think my next experiment should be, or just to let me know you stopped by. Some ideas:

1. Recap of experimental abstract painting installation I created during the pandemic
2. Daily Journaling Practice
3. Daily Affirmations, e.g., writing out by hand a mantra 15x/day
4. What I’ve learned as a new parent, e.g., including how it’s one giant experiment
5. Your suggestion?

Re(Sources):

Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn

https://www.psycom.net/psilocybin-magic-mushrooms#:~:text=to%20be%20conducted.-,In%20addition%20to%20treating%20addiction%2C%20psilocybin%20has%20also%20shown%20impressive,treating%20depression%20and%20death%20anxiety.

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/benefits-of-medical-mushrooms

https://www.newsweek.com/magic-mushrooms-psilocybin-shrooms-denver-legal-how-take-1445041